Saturday, May 17, 2008

The gift that keeps on giving.


Thanks to some rather pointed criticism in his comment section, Frank "I luuuurrrrvvvvvs me some erotica" Hilliard has posted the rest of his "teaser" (eww, eww, ewwwwwwwwww) story about the smutty icky painfully awkward erotic adventures of Ron and Susan.

And let me take the opportunity to say that if this is what passes for "erotica" in Conservative circles, then it’s no wonder they get caught trolling for sex in airport washrooms.

Or purchasing the services of gay, meth-dealing hookers.

Or propositioning teenage pages on the floor of Congress.

Or dead of auto-erotic asphyxiation in not one but two rubber wetsuits with assorted and sundry accessories.

I’m just sayin’ ...

7 comments:

Balbulican said...

I begin to discern a trend which should be encouraged, not mocked.

Conservatives think that what Frank writes is "erotica", despite the fact that it has neither literary merit nor even the faintest hint of Eros.

Conservatives think that what Denyse writes is award-worthy, despite the fact that it is poorly phrased, self-referential twaddle.

Conservatives think that Kathy Shaidle is a Free-Speech Martyr, that Mark Steyn is an intellectual, that the Western Standard represents cutting edge political commentary.

Excellent. Because if you believe that reading nourishes the soul and the mind, those folks are slowly starving themselves on the intellectual equivalent of a diet comprised solely of bacon fat and styrofoam packing chips.

So don't laugh at them. Encourage them! Urge them gently onward as they slowly perfect that strange world they're building for themselves in their own collective consciousness. Wave farewell as they drift further and further from anything resembling objective reality.

Most of all, suggest that they breed exclusively among themselves, using Frank's erotica and SUZANNE's foetoshoots for stimulation. Before long we'll have our world back, except for some Calgary neighbourhoods.

Dr.Dawg said...

Geeze, Balbulican, I'm in awe. Fine writing! Put it up as a blogpost!

Incidentally, the breeding may have already begun.
Sorry to spoil your long weekend.

The Seer said...

Balbulican —

— we tried all that in the American South. I wouldn't recommend it for Canada.

Balbulican said...

Dawg, thanks to Frank's "erotica" and that enchanting collection of images you so generously linked to, my libido has up and moved to Libya.

Anonymous said...

Why do we even encourage this.
Was not reading Lynne Cheney's erotica enough to show what happens when you egg them on?

Frank Frink said...

Tres, tres lame.

It doesn't stand up to the true classics such as Spank Me Stewardess.

Red Tory said...

What a dreary little story.

Frank doesn't have much of a flair for that genre of writing it seems. It sure didn't strike me as particularly "erotic" in any sort of way. Maybe it's something that only a terminally lame wanker (and similarly execrable writer) like Fatprick Ross could appreciate.