Saturday, May 03, 2008

And finally, the feeble punchline.


It seemed amusing at the time ... then after a couple hours it seemed kind of childish so I forgot about it ... then it got Neo's pantyhose in a twist so, what the hell, as much as I just wanted to let it go, let's go back and tie up some loose ends.

Back here, I wrote the following:

Two things you probably never knew about the anonymous Blogging Tory "Neo Conservative":

  • He is, in reality, failed Calgary politician and NAMBLA-obsessive Richard Evans.

  • He is the individual who hacked into Nelle Hechme's Internet connection to post racist messages on white supremacist websites.

Yes, there's a punchline; you'll just have to be patient.

Was I being serious? Obviously not. As anyone who's followed Neo's demented, drooling, racist rants for any time already knows, he's clearly a resident of Ontario, while Richard Evans makes his neighbours' children uncomfortable out in the suburbs of Calgary. And, besides, the disclaimer "there's a punchline" should have been a dead giveaway. I mean, really, do I need to stamp "WARNING, STUPID PARODY AHEAD!" on stuff like that? In any event, in hindsight, it was a childish thing to post but you deserve to understand the (lack of) thinking that went into it.

As far as Neo being Richard Evans is concerned, this was simply a case of turnabout being fair play, since Neo was being his typical jackass self in a comment here:

neo wrote:

“dalton aka canadian cynic carps… “Apartheid” and “segregation” suggest you’re under the impression that some will be excluded from this school.” ...

Wow, that's some deep punditry there, Neo -- trying to discredit someone's argument by simply claiming that they're me. But, hey, goose, gander, and all that. If Neo wants to make up bogus alternate identities for me, why shouldn't I be allowed the same freedom? Hmmmmmm, Neo? Am I not allowed to play that same game?

And as for Neo being whoever the douchebag was who hacked into an Internet connection to post on white supremacist websites, well, that's just more of the same. Once upon a time, I wrote an article on the legal ramifications of searching for child porn at borders. In a completely unsurprising development, Neo interpreted that to mean that I personally was engaged in sumggling child porn, and posted as much.

Hmmmmm, thinks I -- so if someone blogs on a particular topic, we can safely assume that they are/were actually involved in that topic? Is that it, Neo? Is that how logic works in your world? OK, then, since Neo blogged on the hacking of Hechme's Internet connection, it must be safe to assume he was involved. The logic is inescapable, is it not? After all, Neo says so.

In any event, that earlier parody post seemed funny at the time of writing but, after some reflection, it really was kind of infantile of yours truly, so I just dismissed it and had no plans to go back and finish the joke.

Until now.

Until this.

To which one can properly respond, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" In particular, here's Neo's pissy whining about having his reputation impugned (if that's even physically possible):

Much like Nelly Hechme... I don't much appreciate being accused of breaking the law... or of being associated with the "white supremacist" movement.

To which it occurs to me that the most appropriate response is that Neo can go suck farts out of syphilitic goats for all I care. You're seriously threatening to sue me, Neo? Oh, please, dear God, feel free to be that much of a retard. 'Cuz while we're at it, we can chat about your accusation that I'm into child porn based on a single blog post of mine that admits nothing of the sort.

Go ahead, Neo, make my fucking day. I can't wait to see how you justify legal action against someone for exactly and precisely the same kind of shit you engage in at your racist sinkhole of a blog on a regular basis. Get a lawyer. But if you want some free legal advice, make sure you have him read this post first. Then steel yourself as he smacks you in the head with his briefcase for being an utter doofus, then tells you he's keeping the retainer and, by the way, are you really that stupid or is he on "Candid Camera?"

So go for it, Neo. I'm betting the entertainment value would be off the scale.

Now fuck off.

P.S. I'm guessing it's only a matter of time before Twatrick Ross -- the man who makes an entire blogging career out of inventing tortured equivalences out of thin air -- will be along to explain how the two situations above are, like, totally different.

You can take the inevitable Rosshole-flavoured punditry seriously. Or you can remember that this is the man who, to this day, still thinks triangles have eight sides.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go find some grown-ups to smack around.

11 comments:

Sheena said...

Sheena's two cents worth on this particular topic

Ti-Guy said...

Oh, that's what that was about.

I don't ever read Neo's blog, so I'd kind of forgotten the context...which is that he's demented, I guess.

Red Tory said...

Sparring with "Neo" is about as pointless as wrestling with a blancmange.

Unknown said...

I suspect these guys would be rather wrestling each other.

M@ said...

Sheena's two cents worth on this particular topic

BLAST! Styxrolled!

Red Tory said...

I was thinking more of the tennis playing variety. ;)

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy how these fucking demented nutbars threaten to sue all the time yet never get around to it for various reasons.
They usually write rather vile accusations yet get their panties in a bunch if they own stupidities are pointed out to them,

Hey Dikk, I'm still waiting for you to sue me as you promised.... what's up you too busy cruising those man-boy love sites?

KEvron said...

neo conservative v. canadian cynic? i see a problem here*....

KEvron

*yes, the gag is starting to grow whiskers. so is the empty threaat

Francis Walsingham said...

CC = Canadian Coward

¢rÄbG®äŠŠ said...

Francis is a genius. Pass it on!

LuLu said...

Francis Walsingham = Sock Puppet

Hey, this is easy ... everybody play!