Monday, February 04, 2008

Mmm Sexy!

How, one might wonder, does serially self linking twat-waffle Denyse O'Bleary fund her perpetual wankfest? By selling ads for awesome purity products like this wicked funny shirt!



Because nothing says hot like a graphic that let's all of those boys (who will be boys) know that between your brick legs, that precious flower remains untouched, bolted into steel clad chastity. Pay off daddy's purity ball investment, put a ring on her finger, blow the dust off that thing and prepare to shit some babies. Just like gawd intended.

10 comments:

Sparky said...

There's that old George Carlin quote--"Ever notice that women that are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
We can probably make a similar assessment about adamant virginity keepers like Denyse.
In my youth, I was a church goer--attendee of young peoples and hanging out at various christian youth related events that went on about chastity and 'saving it for marriage'.
It was all a matter of God's grace and such that many of these adamant 'save it for marriage' virgin keeping girls had their first kid pop out about 5-7 months after getting hitched.
Miracle, all those preemies!
Another example--I dated someone who went to Calvin College in Grand Rapids (a christian university)--there were dorm rules--doors were not allowed to be closed if a girl had a boy in there, and all members of the opposite sex were to be out of the dorm building by 9 or 10 (can't remember).
So on our walks in the nature park across th highway, 'twas amazing how many used condoms we saw on the ground--those dorm rules werked real well!
Yeah, preaherman (and denyse)--you keep right on preaching the abstinence thing. As Dr. Phil would say--"How's that working for you so far?"

Ti-Guy said...

That's it, right there. Splayed legs promising hidden pleasures for those who wait, wait, wait...

Introduce that message to adolescents as young as possible and just watch the abstinence build, from a slight tingle to an undeniable craving that promises to explode in a Earth-shattering climax of Christian virtue and carnal forbearance.

There is nothing more attractive to a teenager than something forbidden. And no one knows that better than the sexually-obsessed social and religious conservatives.

Melanie Anderson said...

Aside from the 100% Pure Dumbassitude of the Chastity/Purity/Abstinence/Cross-Your-Legs crowd - it's a stupid t-shirt... I didn't understand it was referring to Potential Possession of Hymen until I read the post:

"Is she a gardener, is that why she's hot? Lives in a gated community? Is she a brick-layer? That'd probably build some muscle mass... Maybe it's a castle wall..."

Maybe I'm D-U-M dumb, but I wonder how few people actually care about the cross-your-Legs crowd's lack of sexual experience enough to catch on that A) that's what is being referred to here, and B) that they're actually bragging about it.

Ti-Guy said...

If the pre-sexual don't know about chastity belts and getting at the delicate flower beyond them, they will have after having that t-shirt explained to them.

...which is so tasteful and understated, m'lady could even wear it to Church:

Acquaintance: What's your shirt all about?
M'Lady: It's a reference to virginity, chastity and abstinence.
Acquaintance: You mean it's about fucking?
M'Lady: Yeah, pretty much.

Les said...

OK, I have to admit that I'm not seeing the connection.

The t-shirt itself is a reference to the various Mario World video games and has nothing to do with chastity or abstinence.

Tried checking her blog to see if she had written something about the t-shirt that tried to link it to abstinence, but didn't find a thing.

So color me confused?

David Webb said...

I thought the shirt meant that she was a fan of the 8-bit-era games--"Adventure" on the 2600, "Ultima", or the game from which they stole the graphic, Super Mario Brothers.

David Webb said...

Crap, I waited too long while posting and Les beat me to the punch.

E in MD said...

Woot! Red hot super mario action!

Unknown said...

Some who advocate sexual abstinence may not be the sex gods or goddesses of your dreams, Sparky, but many who stay true to themselves don't have to deal with the consequences of sex before marriage. I'd rather be ugly but physically and emotionally healthy than gorgeous but living with:
-Contraceptives that don't always work.
-HIV/AIDS
-STD's/STI's
-HPV
-Unwanted pregnancy
-Etc., Etc., Etc.

As someone who has lived sexually abstinent for three years (and loving it!), I can honestly say I am happier now than I was when I wasn't sexually abstinent.

For me, abstinence is the most natural way of loving myself, loving my body, while keeping my physical and emotional health intact.

Yeah, TI-GUY, I'm gonna wait, wait, wait and that's working out just fine for me!

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