Friday, March 11, 2005

Li'l Scottie -- inventing his own reality yet again.

It's always fun to keep up with the gaggle-obsessed Holden over at First Draft. Here's the latest installment, with White House Press Reptile Scott McClellan apparently inhabiting a different universe from yours and mine:

Q: Can you talk about this -- these conversations with France and others about allowing Hezbollah into the --

MR. McCLELLAN: I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, our view on Hezbollah has not changed. What our goal is, which is shared by the international community ...

Hmmmm ... and the Bush administration began caring about the opinion of the international community ... when exactly? But Scottie continues further on his descent into madness:

What our goal is, which is shared by the international community, is to see Syria get out of Lebanon, which is called for in Security Council Resolution 1559.

Ah, so obeying UN Security Council Resolutions. That would be a good thing, then? And you thought conservatives weren't into moral relativism. Silly person. (Cue: conservative wingnuts howling, "But, that's not what that resolution says ... sputter fume drool ...")

But here's the best part of Scottie's weaseling, when Scottie defends the current Social Security Bamboozlepalooza tour:

Scottie: ... And what I was pointing out to you is that the process is still ongoing at this point...

Now, at this point, I'm imagining the following hypothetical exchange:

Reporter: Scott, you have, on several occasions, stated that the process of explaining the President's position on Social Security is "ongoing", that it's only now your turn to come to bat, that it's unfair for critics to complain about a plan that you haven't even presented yet. At what point will this process no longer be "ongoing"?

Scottie: I'm sorry?

Reporter: Well, yes, you are, but that wasn't the issue. At what point will the President finally present his entire plan for Social Security, so that everyone will have the opportunity to study it and comment on it? I don't understand how he's been doing all of these public presentations on Social Security and yet no one quite seems to know what the reform plan is, and you insist on describing the entire process as "ongoing". When will the final plan be presented in its entirety for general examination?

Scottie: Well, that's ... uh ... the President is ... looking forward and, uh, reaching out and he's ... looking forward to reaching out and ... hey! Look at the bright shiny thing over there! (Side whisper to White House Security: "Take that man out and have him killed.")

Is it asking too much for some member of the White House press corps (and I'm speaking in a purely heterosexual, non-man-whore kind of way) to ask, "Is there a plan, and what is it?" Hell, I'll bet even that crotchety old Arab Helen Thomas could have a field day with a question like that.

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